The Dark Side

"Refilling Station"

2010-04-28T00:35:00.000-07:00

I don’t know why I opened my account and why I am writing something here but what amazes me is my friend here, Dora. She is always updating her posts and every time she is posting something, she looks so satisfied. I maybe encourage visiting my blog through Dora.

It’s been a very long time since I had my last post. I can still remember posting something for Arianne, as what is seen on my last post. Remembering my last post, is somewhat like reminiscing my memories in TN. I can only post something in my blog when I’m in that office and right now, I’m still in an office, still in a publication. But in a different one, let’s just say that this office is more real. It’s an actual motion of what the real world of journalism is all about.

I do not know where to start but one of the purposes why I’m writing something in my blog is because I want to share what I have experienced here in the real world. Let’s start with the set up of the office here. Our office is a three-storey building and specifically, I’m in the third floor. When you try to enter the office, you can already see different sets of cubicles where there are people who are busy encoding at their own computers. Aisde from that, others are just roaming around to chat with their co-workers and stuffs.

The facilities of the office are good and accessible; almost all of the cubicles have computers which is the usual setting of an office. The air condition is as cold as ice, televisions are also present and the comfort rooms are there. One of the most memorable areas in the office is the so called “refilling station”. You may imagine a room or something that has a technology that really refills water but it’s true. We are actually refilling our own bottles of water but not that big. It’s actually a 500-ml bottle and the likes.

Let me describe the area, it’s a small corner of the office that has a dispenser and a gallon of mineral water. It’s simple as that. We call it a “refilling station” because we (interns), used to “refill” our bottles to the point that we almost empty it considering that the amount of the water is still almost full.

Well, I guess this is it for now sah.. I have to log out because somebody will use the computer..hehehe.. I hope I can post another tomorrow.. Bye for now..

You can do it froglet...

2009-11-18T19:03:00.000-08:00

I was not surprised of the news that her family is sick but I was surprised of the fact that Arianne Rose Gargantiel is leaving the publication. I was surprised because she is a great loss in the publication considering that she is one of the assets. Aside from that, there will be no more froglet who is so makulit and malambing.

On the other hand, I was not surprised of the thought that her family is sick because I know that she is a strong person and a unique one. I know she can do it and she can make it.

I will not make this post long because I can't find the words to express what I want to but I just want to tell that she has been a part of my life and she is one of the special people I treasure.

Yanz, I don't know how to say this but I just want you to know that we are always here for you in case you need our shoulders. Pray always yanz. Ask for guidance and enlightenment... We will miss you!

Missin' my bez...

2009-11-16T23:55:00.000-08:00

A one of a kind person who makes people around him laugh like there is no more tomorrow. A person who dances like he won't lack energy. A person who makes everyone important. And that's Noriel Bajon Jr. "Bez!"

I won't say all of the things I want to say because I don't know where and how to start but one thing is for sure, this person is always treasured.

Thank you for everything... Missing you bez! Break a leg and God bless!

New Moon

2009-11-10T23:09:00.000-08:00

Here's a some of the pictures of my most anticipated sequel, twilight saga: new moon...

Who is a better director? twilight vs. new moon

I was disappointed

2009-11-08T21:32:00.000-08:00

It was a total disappointment...

Have you felt that feeling of excitement that you can achieve something? Did you already expect and later on found out that you were just wasting your time? Have you experienced a feeling of total disappointment? Well I guess I just did.

I mentioned in my last post that I'm confident that I could finish my enrollment today but to my disappointment, I did not. It was a relief to me this morning when I got my control number and by just looking at it, I know that the long wait is almost over. I was just blogging this morning so that my time would be consumed with something sensible since it was announced that those who have control numbers from 13,101 up will be this afternoon.

When the clock ticked at about past one, I hurriedly went to the encoding area to wait for my number. We even chatted with one of my co member in the publication but when the assigned personnel announced that they will just encode students who have the control numbers from 13,101 up to 13,900; I could not utter a word. I was speechless because I was expecting that I could finish my enrollment today. It was like I was already washing my hands so that I could already eat but then there was already no food. The feeling is something like that... It was like "oh!"...

I just said to myself, "it's okay... May bukas pa." Oo nga naman, but the fact remains that I expected a lot and in the end there's nothing but a total disappointment... Haay...!

Almost there

2009-11-06T00:48:00.000-08:00

This day is almost over and I'm still not yet finish with my enrollment. I cannot exactly tell when am I going to finish my enrollment but I'm aiming to finish it by Monday next week.

My enrollment form is still at the Dean's office so that it would be signed by the dean. After that, I will still photocopy the receipts and everything before I can get my control number and then fall in line for encoding. I could say that the process for enrollment in our university is just easy if you will just analyze it but the only problem is falling in line because there are a lot of students in every line. An enrollee in our university would complain that the lines are long and the personnel assigned in every line is not that active.

Well, they say that it can't be avoided situations like this in a public school but I believe that it is not about that. It is about being how any school or any institution operates or runs. I'm not blaming anyone for this inconvenient system but I'm just telling my outlook about it.

But on the other hand, I'm glad that at least I'm moving and I'm almost there. I just hope that I could finish this on my target day. "Kaw na lang ang bahala Bro..."

Decision na naman...

2009-11-05T20:11:00.000-08:00

Andito na namam ako... Confused on what to do and what to decide...

Haay naku, lagi na lang bang mahirap ang pagdidisisyon? Ano ba ito? It's so hard to decide on things. You have to think of it for how many times. You have to think of the probable consequences on both sides. You have to balance things out if which is better. You have to think of the after effects that you could handle and stand until the end.

Ewan ko nga ba kung tama ba 'yong naging decision ko. Pero sa totoo lang, I felt relief when I chose the other one. Basta, may paghihinayang man akong nararamdaman ay okay lang dahil feeling tama 'yong naging decision ko... Bahala na si Lord nito... Come what may...

Bahala ka na Bro...!!!

Again...

2009-11-03T21:47:00.000-08:00

Here we go again...

I don't want to narrate the whole story of what surprised me but I just want to share that he's here again, convincing me to go on.

We met and chatted again. I was convinced that he really has that feeling called "love" for me but what I am feeling right now is not the same. All I know is that I'm still involve with "this" because I like him not love him. But on the other hand, I am afraid because a little space in my heart wants him to fill it up in which I don't want to. I don't want to because I'm afraid of being hurt and losing someone again (if ever).

Meanwhile, I'm glad that I'm giving some special attention again to somebody else. I'm glad that maybe, just maybe, I might fall in love again but I'm wishing not to let it happen maybe because I'm afraid of commitment or just afraid of being hurt.

But as of now, I'm happy about it and just come what may... (confused)

Enrollment galore...

2009-11-02T18:43:00.000-08:00

Enrollment na naman for the second semester of this school year. And I'm here at our office blogging since I can't proceed processing my enrollment because I still have three IRs (incomplete grade) because our teachers have not yet submitted our grades at the registrar's office. It's sad looking at my grade slip that has a lot of IRs but on the other hand, I am so happy because I passed my literature subject and knowing that I can proceed enrolling to literature 115 this semester.

Though I'm a little bit sad about my grades still, I'm a lot happier since my other grades are higher and I passed them.

What am I thinking right now is for this semester if am I going to pass all the subjects I am going to take and if I will have a lot of IRs, etc. But on the other hand, I'm glad I'm still here to enroll.

Meanwhile, my co member in the publication asked me to come with her to process our scholarship as one of the benefits we can get from the publication. Fortunately, it was already approved and we can already enroll but unlucky me, I can't proceed on my enrollment. But I'm still not losing hope because I know, I can still enroll and continue my studies.

Lalaine Montalban...

2009-10-15T22:44:00.000-07:00

I had my exam in our literature class this morning and I was just confident that it will be easy since out teacher gave us some pointers to study. I studied naman even if I hate the type of test she gave us, as usual objective type, and considering that literature is just like history. You will just study the history of literature in our country. When the test paper was already in my hands, I found out that the exam was really difficult. Difficult in a sense that you have to remember those specific details, like the authors, dates, and everything about it; and what's worst? There are some questions which was not found in our photocopy. That's really far out! Because I have a low memory, some things that I studied was forgotten...

I had really a hard time answering the test questions since I don't know most of it. I really had a headache and I am worried because we have a cut off in that subject and I'm afraid if I won't reach it considering that it's already my retake.hehehe.. I just hope that God will have mercy and He will let me pass the subject.

P.S. Lalaine Montalban ( na toolbar, ala kabalo...etc,) In case you don't understand the title...hehehe...

A self realization

2009-10-01T20:20:00.000-07:00

Para maiba naman, magtatagalog muna ako. Pero mahirap eh, taglish na lang.hehehe. After a long time of not updating my blog, andito na naman ako. Well, in case you want to know why I was gone for quite a while, umiba kasi ang ihip ng hangin sa mundong aking ginagalawan eh. A lot of things happened, a lot of thinking was thought and a lot of decisions was made. Maraming naging pagbabago na naganap sa buhay ko nitong mga nakaraang araw. I don't know why did i feel that way. I don't know kung ba't ako nagkaganoon. Ewan ko, hindi ko masagot ang mga katanongang iyan na laging pumapatak sa isip ko.

Nitong mga huling araw lang, I had some confusions in mind that bothers me all the time, publication responsibilities, school, people around me, my family, there are actually a lot of them that bothers my mind. Every time I wake up in the morning, I always think of these things and even before going to bed. But the thing that bothers me most is on the decision I was about to decide which is to quit or not in the publication. Since the publication is already a part of my life, I really have to be ready for the consequences that I will face if whatever my decision would be. I was thinking about it for how many days and I have decided to quit because I thought to myself that I am not already doing my job. "Waht's the use of staying in the publication?" I just thought. I was governed by my thoughts and emotions that time that I really had to quit to focus on my schooling since we were also pressured with our requirements. I also thought that it will not make any difference if I will quit but I was wrong. As days were passing, something inside me lacks all the time I felt that medyo may kulang talaga.

I started not to attend our meetings anymore and people started to wonder where am I. That thought of them makes me feel that they also remember me pala. According to some of them, marami na palang naghahanap sa akin sa office and I was touched. When our eic knew that I was planning to quit, he texted me and he wanted to talk to me. We actually did but when we were already conversing, I cannot anymore utter my words. It was already difficult for me to talk to him and tell him why I wanted to quit. Hindi niya ako pinayagang mag quit dahil napaka shallow naman talaga ng aking reasons. As he was talking, I realized that I was just over reacting and just making things complicated. That thought came to me and knock my head off. I said to myself that why am I making it complicated when in fact I can still do it. The only problem would be is that I just have to control myself from being lazy and just do some sensible things.

Right now, I'm already here again. Continuing what is supposed to be continued and finished. May He enlightened my mind and my heart to be more responsible enough dahil nakasalalay naman dito ang future ko eh...

Ala ra gud...

2009-09-09T23:37:00.000-07:00

Wala lang just posting these pix because fortunately, I saw these when I was browsing the internet...hehehe... wala nay mopalag!

Emote na pud...

2009-09-03T21:01:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to emote again... Well, it's been a while when I posted stating that I was in love "kunohay" but maybe it is stuck there as we go along with this boring relationship or should I call this not a relationship at all... I love the guy but I just don't see the commitment between us. It's not that I want really commitment but all I want is that if he really want this to work, he should have given me even if just a little effort to show that he really cares for me...that's all I wanted. I just want somebody who will show me that he really loves me and not that he would only realized that he loves me when I'm gone and when he gets me back, there's none anymore...it's something like that. It's really complicated.

The problem with him is that he will only try to exert effort in showing that he loves me "kuno" when he knows that I might be gone any time. He will always say that he is busy considering that he is an accountancy student, yes I understand that but my point is if he really loves me and cares for me, he should at least give me some time, even if it is just a little. A text is not that painful... It's just that. What's the point of being together again when you can't even give yourselves a time even if it is just a little. All I want is for him to show me that he thinks of me even in his busy life... I sometimes think that maybe he does not really love me at all. Maybe it is just an infatuation...

Right now, I'm again thinking of breaking up with him again because I can't continue a relationship like this. I can't even call it a relationship because we seldom see and text each other. It is like we are not lovers at all.It is like we are just strangers...I want to stop this mess before I can't afford to let him go anymore, before it's too late... I'm willing to sacrifice what I feel for him if that's the best thing I can do. If that's the right thing to do.

I don't want to complicate things (since my love life is already complicated, hehehehe...). I just want someone who can stand and fight for his love for me. A man whom I can laugh with and would understand and accept me for what I am...
P.S. Emote na pud ko oi...sori na gud! I just want to let this out...

My Ben Barnes...

2009-08-27T23:21:00.000-07:00

I'm in love again...

2009-08-27T19:38:00.000-07:00

It was two days ago when I posted something about my "love life kuno".hehehe. Well, definitely, it has a progress now and I am actually happy about it.

Last night, as the usual routine during tuesdays and thurdays that after our meeting in the publication I will ride in a bus (last trip) so that I will reach home even if it is too late at night. When I arrived at the terminal, I directly saw a lot of passengers waiting for the last trip and it was new. I hurriedly went to the ticket booth so that I can get my seat and a lot of people are already falling in line there. When I looked at the end of the line, I saw him. He was also there looking at me and smiling. I smiled back and I felt some happiness inside me. I don't know why...

I walk towards them (since he was with his friend) and I said "hello" and he asked me "how are you?" and to my surprise, he held my arm. I just glanced at it and also to my surprise, he was like shy and he realized that he is over reacting (I think). I also saw something in his eyes, it was like it was the same eyes I always see when we were still lovers before. I thought to myself that maybe he still loves me..

When we were conversing, my friend called me and I went directly to him. I asked him to buy me a ticket. I went back to them and we chatted and I can sense that he is really affected with my presence and I am happy with it. When my friend was finished getting tickets for us, I did not know that he (my friend who is a gay) knows him also and he kept on flirting with him and I can see that he does not like it.

When the bus already parked and the passengers started to get inside, it was really difficult because the bus was really full and the passengers cannot pass anymore. Good thing that there was a vacant seat and I hurriedly seated there. When I was on my seat and at the same time chatting with my friend, I saw him and I really pity him not because he was already standing since it was already full but because I could see that there is really love in his eyes. It was like he regretted something which was so valuable. As the bus was on its way, my eyes was focused on the glass window reflecting him. I felt pity and at the same time I felt regret also because I thought that we could have settled it before if we just understood each other before.

When I arrived home, I ate my dinner and I was really exhausted because of the trip. I hurriedly changed my clothes and went to bed. I charged my phone because it was battery empty and when I lie down, my phone beeped and it was his message. I just thought that maybe he will talk about our meeting at the ceres terminal but when I read it, the first word of his message already poured my heart with happiness. The first word was our endearment and he was begging me to continue what we had started because according to him, he cannot deny to himself that he really loves me. I was really happy and I felt like my heart will come out for happiness. I did not deny that I was also thinking of him and that I already love him. That night, we were officially lovers again and I also confirmed that I am starting to fall in love again and I am happy with it because I can prove to myself that I have recovered from my past and that my heart is again open for someone.

I just hope that this time, our relationship will work already and that we can give more time to each other. I know I love him now...

Affected?

2009-08-25T02:53:00.000-07:00

Its' been a while when I had my last post. A lot of happenings had happened to me and it was an experience.

The first thing is about my "love life kuno", hehehe. I already mentioned about this in my last post "It's just an honest mistake" and we already broke up. It was a relief to me honestly because my conscience is already at peace but then I am also confused at the same time because it hurts a little. I don't know why am I feeling this way. Maybe because I already opened my heart to him because I thought he can occupy the empty space within me. The flow of our relationship was getting okay but as time passes, it was like I felt that our relationship will not anymore work because even if how hard I try to let him into my heart, he won't fit.

Days after we broke up, he texted me and he said that he was sorry because he did not feel okay the time we broke up. But then my mind is already fixed that time and I did not want to continue what we have started because I don't want to complicate things more.

Yesterday, I went home at about 9pm and since there is no more "easyrides" (vehicles for Amlan) that will send me to our place, I went to Ceres Terminal and rode for the 9pm trip. I was already in a standing position since the bus is already full. All I am thinking at that time was to get home, eat my dinner and sleep. There were like other college students from other schools who were like talking and laughing out loud (which is the usual setting). I was waiting for the bus to go, when suddenly a guy called "Bon" for three times and it caught my attention. I remembered him and I said to myself, "how is he now?". I just did not mind the guy when suddenly, a familiar voice of a girl said to someone "Sige na i.offer dayon imong seat,". That time, I said to myself, "OMG! Naa gud di ay siya sa luyo." The girl and the guy kept calling me and I did not even bother turning my head to face them. I pretended that I did not notice them and just stand their and wait for the bus to go.

When the bus was already on the road, my mind was divided to him and home. I was confused if why am I so affected of his presence. I just said that maybe this is really normal when you and your ex will see each other or one of you saw the other. I felt a little regret at that time because I was thinking that if I only love him that much, maybe our relationship will grow and we will soon evolve in each other's world. But I also thought that maybe we are not really meant for each other.

The day after that, he texted me and said that he was sorry for not offering his seat to me and I pretended that I did not notice him. He said that he was really bothered with his conscience because of that and I just thought that why is he that bothered? Is it normal for a guy to feel like that to his ex girl friend? Or maybe, just maybe he still has an affection for me? That is, I don't know...

A question of faith

2009-08-11T00:48:00.000-07:00

I was very eager to watch the movie "The Exorcism of Emily Rose". They said that it is a nice movie and very horrifying. I was also curious and was interested to watch it. I was hoping that it will be played in HBO or in any other cable channels but I failed. But luckily, a co member of mine in the student publication has a laptop and fortunately, he has a copy of that movie. I asked him to let me watch but at first, my classmate was the first one who borrowed and I was disappointed but it was okay. It is like it really thrills me.

When I watched it, I thought I was the one who will be interested but I never thought that many of us haven't watch it yet. I was happy to know that I'm not alone because they said that it is really scary and maybe I will not finish the movie if I will watch it alone because maybe I will be so scared. But definitely, I was disappointed because it was not really that scary and horrifying. I thought that the effects will be that scary since I have watched a lot of exorcisms which are really horrifying. But I was disappointed. Well, somehow it's okay because I enjoyed watching anyway.

What I learned about the story is that the exorcism of Emily was being cased. It was about spiritual healing against medical cure. But the point was that the case was trying to tell about what is the difference between the possibility and the truth. It was trying to tell that there is a possibility that Emily was being possessed by demons. It is as if they are trying to show that demons exist and I do believe in it.

I pity Emily because of her sufferings but despite that I understand why Emily chose to stay as what I understand in the movie because she did not anymore mind if what will happened to her but she wanted to tell us that demons do exist and we should not take it as a joke. She also wants us to have faith in God and should also believe in Him. We should not assume that He is not there watching us but we should put in mind that He is there for us and we should believe and have faith in Him.

A memorable leader

2009-08-06T00:37:00.000-07:00

As time passes and as our generation exists, we are aware and we are educated that we live in a democratic country. We studied Philippine history and one woman change everything. She spared the Filipino people from the extreme sufferings of the Marcos regime. She did everything for the welfare of the Filipinos and I have proven it now even if I was not yet born during her excellency's time.

Corazon "Cory" Cojuanco Aquino was an ordinary and a typical type of a housewife whose heart was so pure. Her legendary leadership began when the former Senator Benigno "Ninoy" Aquino Jr. was shot dead at the NAIA airport. He was a very good person. That incident led her to continue what Ninoy had started, to serve the Filipino people.

She ran for presidency in opposition against the former President Marcos and won the position. She saved the Filipinos from the sufferings they had during Marcos' administration. She served the Filipinos as they were supposed to be and gave her heart to them. The people were glad to have her as their leader.

Time passes and Cory was over with her term as the president but still people looked up on her and respected her as she was still the president. She was a remarkable one and people could not forget on what she has done for the nation.

Until such time that the Aquino family announced that she was sicked and they need the people's spiritual support. The people did give their support and the Aquino family appreciated it anyway. It lasted for about more than a year when the Aquino family announced again to the public that Cory had a colon cancer which is already in stage 4 and again the public offered their spiritual support to the family. But she did not last long because she died and the Filipino people mourned for her especially the Aquino family.

The burial of Cory Aquino was a history, it's also record breaking like Ninoy's before. Hundreds of thousands of people were there to wait for her in the streets and some were there also to walked with the cortege in which the casket of Cory was in it for about 22.3km from the cathedral to the memorial park.

You can really see that the Filipinos loved her and appreciated her effort for the welfare of the people. You can see that adults, teens and even children were there soaked in the rain to witnessed the last hours of the former president. You can see that they want to sacrifice their hunger and their health just to see even Cory's casket for the last time.

For me, the burial of Cory Aquino was a lesson to political icons who will become leaders someday that a good leader is always loved by its people. It's a lesson for them to see that if you care for the welfare of your people and if you love them, for sure in return they will respect you, love you and will never forget you in their entire lives.

I just hope that the burial of Cory Aquino will touch the hearts of the corrupt leaders and think for the betterment of the Filipino people instead which is truly their job..

Hearsays

2009-08-03T19:03:00.000-07:00

As I was sitting on my chair to wait for our class and as I was looking at the heavy rain outside the window of our classroom (since it rained for about a week), my cellphone beeped and I read the message from my friend which I supposed that she forward a message about love and everything. I was not shocked of what she texted me but I said to myself ,"again?" because the text was about a child who was carried away by the flood caused by the heavy rain for about a week in which it caused my friend in a long traffic. I t was not new for me since we had experienced it here in our province before. What am I afraid for is that the incident which triggered Negrenses before might happened again and it might be worst.

I hurriedly told my classmate about it and accidentally my teacher heard about it and she asked me to read the message again. But she herself read the text in my phone and she was triggered. I can see the nervousness in her eyes. She looked like she was freaking out and would cry anytime. I was shocked of her reaction and it was funny because she was over reacting. My seat mate (who is kinda "pasaway") took advantage of the situation and made fun of our teacher. I was also laughing of my seatmate's joke to her and my attention was caught when she told us something I don't know if it's crazy or freaky.

She told us that there is a hearsay in their office that because of the extreme volume of rain we are experiencing right now, "a state in America will sink together with the Philippines". The statement kept popping in my mind for how many times but I was not alarmed. I was just surprise with what she shared which is for me a crazy thing. She also told us that the hearsay in their office is connected with the hearsay about the "serena" story after the extreme flood that triggered the Negrenses for the first time.

When I heard that, I really thought that how can she believe in those things considering the fact that she is already professional, an educated person.. I don't even believe in those things even if I loved to watch movies about it. Well, it's just movies. It's fictional. Another thing also is that if you really believe in God, you won't believe such things. And if you really have faith in Him, you won't be afraid to face any calamities you will encounter.

A part of me also says that maybe she is an emotional type of a person. Maybe she is just too sensitive when it comes to those things. But it is not about that, it's about how you react on things in a realistic way. Well, I just hope that she won't really think of it that much...

Ineffective mentors

2009-07-27T19:11:00.000-07:00

As the days are passing and as the mid term week is coming, pressures form my different subjects both major and minors are also on my shoulders. Requirements here and there. But what I have noticed is that I prefer to give attention to the requirements of my minor subjects than my major subjects except for one because it's not worth it anyway. I don't know why I'm in a course (which is interesting anyway) that has a faculty problem.

I thought that the faculty in a certain department will guide us and teach us on what we will suppose to know but it's different. They are the ones who do not know what to teach and on what their students should know about the course except for one.
Why are they like this? Is it that they just what money? influence? I don't know...or maybe they are just like that..

Despite that, I still learned a lot from maybe two teachers from our department and got something which I will not forget.

The Remarkable Performer

2009-07-26T19:01:00.000-07:00

I have partially watched the documentary of Michael Jackson (MJ) at abs-cbn hosted by Boy Abunda last night and I found out that he was really dedicated to his career or profession. A lot of people closed to him were interviewed and some of his music videos were shown. It was fantastic!

MJ's keyboardist said that MJ wants something spectacular for his fans. He said that every time he has a concert, he will really conceptualized on what will be his appearance to his fans and what will they be screaming of. He also said that MJ does not want his fans not to enjoy his show.

A choreographer who was closed to MJ said that one event he will never forget about him is that when he had his concert in Japan wherein he just jumped out from the stage and was just standing there without making any move and people were already screaming and crying. He was really a remarkable icon and indeed a great performer.

Based on what they said and on what I saw on the documentary of MJ is that he is a total performer. Meaning, he will not disappoint his fans. He will really give out his best and would leave a memorable moment to his fans every time he performs.

I also found out that MJ started in Jackson Five wherein it was a group of him and his brothers. I saw their videos during the time of Jackson Five and I can say that MJ really shined among them since he will really perform and show what he has.

His father trained them because he saw that his five sons have potentials and can perform on stage. They really have a good blending on their voices which is amazing..

What I really realized on the documentary is that MJ is not just a performer on stage or just a famous icon but he was also dedicated to his fans and loved them. As what Janet Jackson said, "Micheal is an icon to many but he is a family to us."

Irresponsibility

2009-07-23T19:29:00.000-07:00

Being a writer in a student publication where it is already a part of the evolution of my world, I can say that it gave me some positive effects that really helped me in shaping my myself and helped me realize some things.

One of these positive effects is that I learned a lot. I learned something out of writing. I learned something in the publication which I did not learn in our class (as a Mass Com student) but maybe those things I learned in the publication were really discussed by our professor since he is also our adviser here in the publication. It's just that I did not listen attentively or just maybe absent minded.

I also learned how to value people around me and how to treasure them. I saw something valuable on the people in the publication that I did not expect I will encounter nor learned. I saw how they appreciate the people around them and I saw how they love them. It's a good thing about them and it's also a nice thing for me. I feel like I'm being loved by everyone and it's a great feeling. It touches my heart...

Another thing is that I learned how to fight back and defend myself. I used to be silent specially when somebody's making fun of me or cracking jokes about me. But when I entered the publication, they also do the same but in a funny way and they were also the ones who taught me how to fight back. It's like they were the ones who started something crazy that resulted into something good at the end of the line. Thanks to them!

But despite of what they did to me, I feel guilty because in return I'm not doing my job as a writer which is the main reason why I'm here. I'm just a "pasaway" since I won't bother beating deadlines just because my co writers are also doing the same. They did not also beat deadlines because they are also not yet done with their articles. It's shameful because I should be a good epitome to them considering the fact that I'm a Mass Comm student and some of them are not.

Even if I'm like that, a part of me wanted really to pass articles on the given deadlines but the only problem is that I'm just too lazy gathering facts. I will always get tired of gathering facts even if I know that it is like that. I always say to myself that I should be responsible enough because I'm a student journalist and since I also entered this journalistic world but it is only in my mind and I'm not doing anything about it.

I just hope that sooner or later I will realize and I will be enlightened that I should be responsible and I should do my job..

2009-07-23T19:21:00.000-07:00

I Could Not Ask For More

Lying here with you
Listening to the rain
Smilin just to see
The smile upon your face
And this are the moments
I thank God that I'm alive
And this are the moments
I remember all my life
I found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

Looking in your eyes
Seeing all I need
Everything you are
Is everything to me
And this are the moments
I know heaven must exist
And this are the moments
I know all I need is this
I have all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more
Than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
And every prayer has been answered
And every dream I had came true
Yeah, you're right here in this moment
Is right here where I'm meant to be
Oh, here with you
Here with me

Could not ask for more
Than the love you give me
Coz It's all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more... more..

I really like Edwin Mccain songs. It's really meaningful and it's full of emotions. The singer really feels his songs as what the listeners do. It's as if he is a man of emotions that can make someone feel something he or she can appreciate.

2009-07-23T02:58:00.000-07:00

I'll be

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky
Never revealing their depth

And tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

And I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be with the trappings of love
And I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

And rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
And you're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive, and not dead

And tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love.
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

And I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be with the trappings of love
And I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

And I dropped out, I burned up, I fought my way back from the dead,
I tuned in, I turned on, remembered the thing that you said.

And I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be with the trappings of love
And I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

And I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be with the trappings of love
And I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

The greatest fan of your life.

It's just an honest mistake...

2009-07-22T20:43:00.000-07:00

They say that when you have someone or a partner, you will be inspired and you will feel happy because you are really in love. But in my case, I don't see it like that because the problem is, I don't love him or even have an affection for him. I don't know why I'm into this relationship and why I'm keeping him. It's just that the bottom line is, I can't love him even if how hard I try. I just can't. Every time I look at his face and when I look deeper into his eyes, I can't feel that spark. The so called magic in love. I'm emotionless... Every time I'm with him, i can't feel that excitement and that extreme happiness I felt before when I was still madly in love with someone. I don't feel the same thing and it's really awkward.

I tried to break up with him once but he said "no" and tried to convinced me not to. I was convinced I guess.. But what bothers me most is that I can see his effort in trying to be with me in any way he can. And my conscience is killing me since I don't have feelings for him and all he knows is that I'm also in love with him. I'm not used to this kind of situation and I'm not used to this kind of awkwardness.

Every time I think of breaking up with him, my heart says yes but my mind says no and it is confusing me. I know my heart is just telling the truth and it's just being honest. But my mind is opposing my heart and I just don't know why. I can't help it! My heart is trying to convince my conscience but my mind is so strong. It's funny basically because my conscience is inside my mind and it's being independent. Wow! am I insane? But I don't think so. I maybe just confused of which is to be followed.

I don't want to ask God of what to do because deep within me, I know that this is wrong and I keep on doing it. It's an honest mistake and it's freaking me out. It's shameful to Him asking if what will I do since it is just a crazy thing and I am just making things complicated. But what will I do? I think my mind is trying to be someone and it's making it's own decision without even confronting me.. What the heck?!...

I just hope that maybe in some way, I will be guided and enlightened. I just hope that no one will be hurt in the end and we will end up in good terms. I hope it will be that easy...

I'm back...

2009-07-22T20:27:00.000-07:00

It's been a very long time since I had my last post because of technical problems.hehe. It maybe funny but I really had a hard time on how to place cbox in my blog and it pissed me off! Thanks to Jeremiah, I finally have my own cbox.hehehe. The second thing that bothered me was I lost interest in blogging.. It may sound disappointing but it's true. It maybe because I found a difficulty creating my own cbox that led me to lose interest.hehe. But I'm already happy now because I already have one and it's cool. I just hope that a lot will visit in my blog and place some comments.hehehe... Now that I have my own cbox, my interest in blogging already came back and it feels good. I feel like I'm already relieved. I will now try to always update my blog and try posting some interesting topics.hehehe.. See yah!

Tayong Dalawa

2009-05-26T21:43:00.000-07:00

"Hindi ko na hinahangad ang yaman sa mundo. Pagmamahal mo lang ang tanging hinahanap ko. Maaari bang sana'y patawarin mo ako. Pagka't tayong dalawa ay sa isa't isa." These are just few of the lines of the theme song from my favorite teleserye "Tayong Dalawa". Months ago, when this teleserye was just new, I find the song OA but when time passes by, I can already feel not only the song but the contents of it. Every time I hear this song, it reminds me of David Garcia, a navy liutenant who accidentally made love with another woman, Marlyn Dionisio, a poor and humble woman who lives in a squater area. Aside from Marlyn, David was in love with Ingrid, a boastful and mentally ill woman. These three persons were the root of all the happenings of the story.

Time passes and it turned out that Marlyn and Ingrid gave birth at the same time but unfortunately, Ingrid's baby died and Elizabeth, mother of Ingrid, bought a baby (Dave) who was the twin of Marlyn's baby (JR) from Rita, Marlyn's mother, through Manuel in order not to disappoint Ingrid that may worsen her condition.
Recently, Dave and JR are now being tested by the situation where Audrey, the twin's only girl in their hearts and is the reason why they are fighting, does her best to find a way on how to find JR's kidney donor.

I find the story now as interesting as it may seem because it is unique and the twist of the story is good. They play roles of different personalities and characters who are unfortunately victims of the situation.

I just hope that Dave would soften his heart and will donate his kidney to his twin brother JR. Go Bok!

Pasko sa TN

2009-05-07T20:53:00.000-07:00

Pagpaxenxahan na ninyo kung napakalate na nitong mga pinopost ko.hehehe. Well, ito nga pala ay tungkol sa naging Christmas Party namin sa publication. We spent two nights and three days sa Le Tuondra. Mayroon kaming dress code and tema sa unang gabi at nagsuot ng all white ang mga lalaki at ito nga yong naging itsura nila.

Ito ang mga mokong sa TN (except sa dalawang teacher sa gitna na nakaupo). Parang naging tao sila nitong mga panahong ito.hehehe.

At ayan nakita nyo na. Sa mga babae naman ay all red dress at watch out dahil hindi all red yong naisuot ko.hehehe.xenxa na dahil yan lang nakayanan at nakita kong isuot.hehe.

Ito naman ang mga chaka sa TN.hehehe. Nakared ang lahat maliban lamang sa akin.hehehe.

Unang gabi pa lang yan. Napakasaya namin nyan at hindi rin naman naiwasang nagkaiyakan na dahil lumabas na ang mga hinanakit sa buhay. Pero ok lang yon. Bumawi naman kami sa sayawan. Nagkaroon nga ng disco at talaga namang kinareer ko.hahaha! Hindi ko pinalipas ang pagkakataon dahil talagang pinagpawisan kami sa pagsasayaw. Ibinuhos ko lahat ng nasa loob ko sa pasasayaaw at sa wakas naman ay nagtagumpay ako.hahaha!

Lumipas ang mga oras at dumating ang ikalawang gabi. Dahil sa napagod kami dahil nagswimming kami sa Dumaguete Spring nang umaga, hating gabi na kami nakakain ng dinner at pagkatapos non ay sayawan ulit at mayroon ng kantahan.hahaha! We were so happy at nakalimutan na naming tumingin sa oras. Natapos kami sa pagkakanta ng 4am na ng umaga. Naks, naman! Ang saya namin non at sana mayroon pang maraming ganon sa TN. "TN Rules!"

Twilight

2009-05-07T19:35:00.000-07:00

Even if the twilight fever is over and even if I'm posting this so late, I just want to share to everyone that I'm a twilighter and I can't wait for the next episode which is new moon to be released. Like others who were once been inspired and felt the wonderful feeling of being loved by a vampire, I was once addicted by it and is willingly be an addict to it.

When I saw this movie, all I wanted to happen is to be loved by a vampire and to feel what Bella feels towards Edward. It's really amazing!

Friendship

2009-05-07T00:41:00.000-07:00

Hey there! It’s been a very long time since I had my last post. There are a lot of changes and experiences I had encountered. There were times that I was very happy and could anymore remember that I have a lot of problems. Well, that’s life. All of us have it. There were also times that I was so down that I wanted to break down. But above all that, I still survived because even though I was almost losing hope, I strived hard to go on with my life and saw the people who love and care for me. It’s been months that I never posted nor visit my account. Yeah, it’s that long. I was planning to create another account just for a change but I said to my self, “what for?” it’s already there and all I have to do is fix it and give life to it instead of having another one. And thanks to my patience! At least I’m happy with my output. My account has already improved.

We’ll where do I start? Ah, yeah, let’s just start remembering the moment when we had our sleepless nights just to beat our deadlines. Yeah, it’s really crazy thinking that we did not think of what our faces would look like walking in the campus early in the morning with our hair that looked like we were raped, eye bags that looked like it’s starting to fall, and oily faces wherein a mosquito might slip on it. Funny as it may look but we knew in ourselves that we had a very exhausting night. Seeing the sun that started to rise reminds us of another exhausting day but behind those days, we tightened a great relationship and that’s friendship.

Friendship is what every person wants and will always wanted. I thought at first that my exhausting course is just all about beating deadlines but I was wrong there’s more about it. It’s something more meaningful and wonderful for student like me and I will always treasure it. We were so busy on those days because it’s the finals week and requirements were over flowing. Despite that, I found a great feeling of being loved and cared of people I only knew in my tertiary years. My fellow “khadz” and my fellow publication group were the people in my college years and the reasons why I laugh everyday. I could not afford to lose these people since they were there during my hurtful and downfall moments. They were there in times I needed somebody to hold on and continue what I’ve started. They thought me of things I never knew before and things I never expected to be important. Even if they have different personalities and some of them are not that close to me but each of them pampered me in there own ways even if they did not know it. Each of them contributed things which made my life reasonable. They are already in my heart and will always be there.

Crazy Thing.

2008-12-11T22:24:00.000-08:00

Another day has come and I'm still sleepy. Come to think about it. We stayed over night at my classmates boarding house and I only had two hours of sleep.
Yesterday, we had a busy day. We were having interviews over and over because we were beating the deadline for our articles this morning. Everybody was so busy and eager to finish the interviews so we could already start making our articles. When we finished interviewing our last interviewee, my classmates told me not to go home because we have to stay over night to make our news article. They told me that we will make it at my other classmates boarding house. I was in doubt if I could go with them because I was not prepared. But I decided to go with them for the sake of finishing my article. We planned on how to spend the night and asked them to wait for me because I still have a class.
While we were having our class, our teacher asked me and my other classmate to go to an electrical store to buy something for the computer that we would use. But unfortunately, the store was already closed. We just bought peanuts and eat while we rode back to school. When we were already there, our teacher and my only male classmate went out to my teacher's office to get something useful for our activity last night. But again unfortunately, we waited for nothing. They just came to inform us that we will postpone our activity. But that was okay at least I had slept.
After our class, we hurriedly went to our office for our practice for our out reached program this coming weekend. We really enjoyed practicing because some of my colleagues were playing jokes. We had a great a time. While we were in the middle of our practice, my classmates texted me if where are we because they are already at the freedom park waiting for us. And thank God we finished practicing and hurriedly went out.
We bought food and hurriedly went to my classmates boarding house so that we can already start making our articles. While walking, we were just chatting and laughing. Enjoying every moment of the night. When we reach her boarding house, she quickly cooked rice so that we can already eat. We did eat and started making our articles. We were just laughing and playing jokes with each other. We were so noisy. But it was fun. We set the alarm at 4 am because we will encode our articles.
We were all set and ready to go out but unluckily, the gate outside the boarding house was still closed and locked. Because we were crazy, we climbed over the gate laughing of what we were doing. I was the last one who climbed and to my surprised I had a difficulty climbing it because the gate is already rusty and old. They were laughing at me while helping me. When I almost reached the ground, I jump and it created noise. And in order not to be scolded by the landlady, we ran as fast as we could towards the high way. While running, we were also laughing at what we did. It was really great! We really had fun...
That moment was crazy but memorable. I felt like I was playing hide and sick with my friends. That was really exiting!!! I really enjoyed hanging out with them...

A Self Realization

2008-12-09T21:44:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm back. It is good to be back.hehehe. I had not been posting any blog since I can't remember when.hehehe. But I know it has been a while. I had been through a lot of headaches and problems these past few days. I'm thinking about my articles in both my major subject and our student publication. I also had been at home for how many days because we celebrated fiesta in our place and I was busy helping my parents preparing for the two-day fiesta even if we only entertain visitors in just one day. I was so tired...
However, we celebrated our Founder's Week celebration for six days and it was fun even I only showed up for the last two days of the celebration. There were a lot of activities in our school and each of us were tasked to cover different activities. I'm so worried because we were not yet able to finish our article because of circumstances we could not avoid. Aside from that my different major subjects were also requiring to write stories about the Founder's Week. Pressure is really there that we could not avoid.
But above all of my chakas and yawyaws in life, I don't know if it was a blessing in disguise or whatever you may call it that which I was enlightened and I realized something which others did not realized. We were just chatting with my friends and this one friend of mine is an intelligent person or maybe he just know a lot of things. He kept on rendering jokes and just trying to make the group happy.
We were really enjoying our topic and then suddenly, our topic shifted to theology. He was asking the other one of what was her religion and we found out that he was an aethiest. We were not surprised of the revelation because his personality says so. We just wondered and was curious why he was like that. He then explained why and we chatted about the bible and all about RC. In did not not know that he was a protestant before and became an aethiest because of the reason that he was confused of the the bible's inconsistency. Yeah, it was true. I only realized that this morning even if I'm an RC. He explained a lot of information and cited some likages about the bible. Yes, there were, definitely there were. I was really shocked of what I had realized this morning and is still shock. But I'm trying not to think of it because I have my own beliefs. But one thing I will and can really assure that GOD is really existing. I can feel it.
I'm just hoping that whatever may come and happen, may GOD enlightens my mind and guides me as I continue journeying my life.

stuffs

2008-11-20T23:41:00.000-08:00

Founder's Week is fast approaching. People are very busy doing their stuffs. Others are constructing their own booths, others are busy with their bulletin boards, others are busy practicing for the intramurals, others are rehearsing for the incoming Mr. and Ms. NORSU. Yeah, they are all busy. I'm also busy with my own stuff but unfortunately it is irritating because I haven't finished my article yet and our news editor is already asking for it. haaay!!! We only luck three more colleges so that we can finish our article and unfortunately they are no where to be found. How am I going to explain this to our news editor? My head is also aeching I don't know why. Gudluck for me.

My Trip to Bayawan

2008-11-06T22:58:00.000-08:00

It was a cold day yesterday. I had to wear long sleeves and just chill out. I attended my class and went out first because we had to go to Bayawan City for our assignment in our major class. I am with our News Editor and at the same time my classmate. I was not that excited because I was not expecting that it would be a great adventure for us. We quickly went to Ceres Terminal and thank God we made it. While we were on our way, I love the places I've seen. It was very fantastic! It was so nice. I felt like I was in a paradise. It was beautiful!
When we were already inside the bus, I started to feel like I want to fly because the view of the places we've passed were all covered with green and I can really appreciate mother earth's beauty that time. The road was not that straight and it has lots of curves. We were like riding in a roller coaster because we were going up and down. It was also rainy that time and the road was slippery. It was like a scenario of a beautiful garden in heaven.hehehe... We really enjoyed the trip...trip to heaven I guess...hehehe.
When we reached Bayawan, and as I have observed the place, it was good. Even if it still needs a little improvement but the place is progressing. We went to Magic FM and to get their organizational chart and interviewed the station manager. We also went to Radyo Natin to get their organizational chart but we falied to interview their manager because he was not their.
While waiting for the person making the organizational chart, we took some pictures. It was also fun. When he gave what we needed, he informed us that our teacher who is a reporter in ABS-CBN went their also just a while ago. So we quickly went outside and texted our teacher hoping that we can get a ride... and we did!!
Our teacher was with three other guys who were also working with him. When we were on our way back to Dumaguete City, I did not expect that the driver of the patrol drives so fast that he almost made the car fly. My God! I almost vomit because I felt like I was drunk and I really had a headache. But despite that, I really had a great time with them. It was fun and exciting!!!
Hope that I can visit that place again and spend more time exploring Bayawan...

2008-11-06T22:41:00.000-08:00

If I should die before I wake
Because you took my breath away
Loosing you is like living in the world
with no air,
I'm here alone didn't wanna live
My heart won't move, it's incomplete
If there was a way that I
can make you understand
But how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
Coz my world revolves around you
It so hard for me to breathe
Tell me how I'm I suppose to breathe
with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
There's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how are you going to live without me
If you ani't here I just can't breathe
There's no air, no air

Can't Name It.

2008-11-05T10:17:00.000-08:00

I'm here again. I don't know how my day has ended but all I know and remember is we had our regular staff meeting. I can already feel the pressure on our Founders Week. We had our meeting at the admin building because we have some special guests. They are from Cebu. I think from Science High School.
We held our meeting as usual, still so noisy. When we were in the middle of our meeting, I suddenly felt something strange. I can't even explain what it was.
When our News Editor assigned us with our different beats, I can already imagine how busy we will be. It will look like we are always in a hurry and we can not even notice the time running so fast.
I'm just hoping that we can pass all the articles needed on the exact time.
I think that would be all for today. Have a nice day mga yotch!!!

Thoughts of the Day.

2008-11-03T01:18:00.000-08:00

I'm back... I had a talking session with my friends and it was fun knowing that we shared deeper thoughts and views of our different problems and challenges in life. There were two of them. The other one is facing confusion regarding decision making. She is also a member of our student publication and she's doubting if she will quit or not. I told her not to quit because she already has the opportunity to learn and expose her self in a more realistic world of being a student. She already has the advantage among any other else. I've tried my best in explaining the benefits of being in the publication.
When I looked at her, I saw the confusion in her eyes and I knew the feeling that it is not that easy.
It is really a good thing that two of my companions in the publication encouraged her more.
I felt like I was so stupid to encourage a person though I myself sometimes think of giving up. But then I realized that I should not let go of these people knowing the fact that they are already my family. They are my treasure...
Meanwhile, we were chatting with my other friend about love affairs and everything ... stuffs like that. While we were in the middle of our conversation, I decided to open up with him my situation right now. I was hoping he could enlighten my mind and maybe could change my expectations. Yes, I successfully got his opinion but I failed to suit my expectations regarding with what I feel. But then I learned something from him ( guy stuffs). I realized and noticed something which I have never gave attention with.
Looking at his face full of make up and cosmetics, I realized that in her feminine way, he still has the views of being a guy. At that time, I noticed that he's right and he has a point.
I'm wishing that someday, somehow, I can also share the lessons I've learned...

Confirmed

2008-10-30T19:30:00.000-07:00

well, i woke up today thinking of what my friend told me last night.we were texting happily.asking if how is he doing,is he busy,things like that...but suddenly i paused for a moment, reading his text message saying that it is confirmed that the guy i still love is really having an affair with someone i did not expect he would give attention with.my heart suddenly ached so much for a while that i almost dropped a tear from my eye...it felt like my heart exploded and blood is all over inside me.well of course there is blood inside me but i don't mean it litteraly.my friend kept on asking me if that was the reason why we broke up and then i said yes.he wanted to know more about the whole story but i insisted because it would only cause pain..more pain...
it keeps on entering into my mind everyday why is this happening to me.did i do something wrong?have i chosen the wrong one?is this how God punishes me?i don't have any idea...im always asking God why and He kept silent.it is as if He doensn't want to answer...it is as if He doesn't want to listen...
im trying not to think of him even just a single second but i can't.all i just want is for me to move on and start totally with a new life.even though im moving on but not totally because he still bothers my mind.what will i do?
well, they say that when a person is in his or her downful moments that person is eager to finish or stay out of the situation and could not wait for the right time.yeah, i believe that.it is even in a line of a song "one step at a time,there's no need to rush..."and it is true.we should wait.but we could not avoid feeling that way because we are bothered with the present feeling which is so strong.but maybe it only depends on the person how he or she deals with the situation.
i hope i can deal with this and move on TOTALLY...and i hope somebody can save me from the pain....hehehehe.....char!!!

pop...

2008-10-30T02:36:00.000-07:00

wheeewh...!!!!it was a very not totally busy but certainly fine day.i was doing my daily routine and i did not even figure out that lunch time was almost over.naaaah...but that was okay. we had our lunch na man.i was totally busy looking at the computer.fixing my picture through adobe photoshop.i consumed a lot of time just to make it look more presentable.hahahaha!!!!i had the headset on my head listening with my favorite music and pausing for quite some time every time i hear those songs which remind me of someone i don't know if he still remembers me.yeah, that's life!
yes, i will admit that im getting used of not being with him everyday but i can't stop myself of always thinking of him for just a short moment.he keeps on popping in my mind and it really hurts...and worst, i was left alone not knowing the real reason why did that happen.im still in love with him...damn him!damn that guy!....

2008-10-28T18:07:00.000-07:00

chill and relax........