Affected?

Its' been a while when I had my last post. A lot of happenings had happened to me and it was an experience.

The first thing is about my "love life kuno", hehehe. I already mentioned about this in my last post "It's just an honest mistake" and we already broke up. It was a relief to me honestly because my conscience is already at peace but then I am also confused at the same time because it hurts a little. I don't know why am I feeling this way. Maybe because I already opened my heart to him because I thought he can occupy the empty space within me. The flow of our relationship was getting okay but as time passes, it was like I felt that our relationship will not anymore work because even if how hard I try to let him into my heart, he won't fit.

Days after we broke up, he texted me and he said that he was sorry because he did not feel okay the time we broke up. But then my mind is already fixed that time and I did not want to continue what we have started because I don't want to complicate things more.

Yesterday, I went home at about 9pm and since there is no more "easyrides" (vehicles for Amlan) that will send me to our place, I went to Ceres Terminal and rode for the 9pm trip. I was already in a standing position since the bus is already full. All I am thinking at that time was to get home, eat my dinner and sleep. There were like other college students from other schools who were like talking and laughing out loud (which is the usual setting). I was waiting for the bus to go, when suddenly a guy called "Bon" for three times and it caught my attention. I remembered him and I said to myself, "how is he now?". I just did not mind the guy when suddenly, a familiar voice of a girl said to someone "Sige na i.offer dayon imong seat,". That time, I said to myself, "OMG! Naa gud di ay siya sa luyo." The girl and the guy kept calling me and I did not even bother turning my head to face them. I pretended that I did not notice them and just stand their and wait for the bus to go.

When the bus was already on the road, my mind was divided to him and home. I was confused if why am I so affected of his presence. I just said that maybe this is really normal when you and your ex will see each other or one of you saw the other. I felt a little regret at that time because I was thinking that if I only love him that much, maybe our relationship will grow and we will soon evolve in each other's world. But I also thought that maybe we are not really meant for each other.

The day after that, he texted me and said that he was sorry for not offering his seat to me and I pretended that I did not notice him. He said that he was really bothered with his conscience because of that and I just thought that why is he that bothered? Is it normal for a guy to feel like that to his ex girl friend? Or maybe, just maybe he still has an affection for me? That is, I don't know...